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You are a star,
A star that is not reachable that Twinkles far far away. I hold you in my hands, as if you are in my reach, But I know you are burning light-years away from me, Untouched by my grasp You are a wave, A wave that comes and goes, Grows and shrinks. Making swooshing sounds that only you can make And a conch shell can mimic I hug you with my arms But as the tides get bigger and smaller I know you are not the same wave as I hugged at first But then again, You are a star Light-years above me. You might not know I am here Watching your brilliance. You might think you are the only one burning. So here I am Burning a candle light-years below you So as to say You are not alone. But then again, You are a wave Growing and shrinking. You might not be the same wave that I hugged at first But you are a wave; I am me And I wet my feet in your ebb and flow So as to say I am here with you too.
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That moment when we were comparing our heights and
I was clearly so much taller than you, but only momentarily You thought about coming closer to me and See how much difference there was I saw that thought come through your head and Leave a small trace I could tell from that pause you held, that small hesitance of yours Stopped my breath for just a second Only a short second, but long enough to matter. Long enough to make a difference. I wish you did come closer And break that delicate barrier of this budding friendship And took me in Embraced me Gave a small kiss against my neck That would have changed it all Wouldn’t that have been so wonderfully romantic? I know it won’t happen. I know you won’t take that leap Because I know you don’t feel the way I do About us. What a shame What a waste of one-way emotions… We would have written a novelette together A short, sweet one at that. I mourn for that unborn story The story waiting to be lived and told But it won’t happen Or it already did in my head But realization is not its fate. What a tragedy it is For the unborn… All I wish to see is a flower blossoming in my palm
In the sunshine and the rain In light hearts and pain I also wish to let it go Plant its preciousness in soil and let it grow On its own, in its own body and strength I wish to be there when it’s in full bloom, When the sun shines through and through As the ray of the sun lifts the beauty in all its glory I also wish to be there when the petals fall And the color starts to fade For it is time for it to wane No room for regret For she has left her seeds of beauty behind Now there is hope that these will be even more divine At this moment I hand these seeds in your palm So you can enjoy and taste the beauty of love and life For there is no joy that could be bought at any price. I am from here, Tenafly, NJ US
giggling, running away from 엄마 trying to get me clean and hiding behind the smooth ivory sofa butt-naked where her hands can barely reach playing hide-and-seek with my symbol of beauty and all things good. dreaming to become a comedian when I grow up so I can hear 아빠’s belly-laugh over and over again, the sound of his voice so big, it pops my ears and shakes the whole house. protecting 오빠 from our parents who come rushing to punish him after my own piercing cry for help to save me from his endless teasing. I am from there, Seoul, Korea catching my American tongue when they call me 슈퍼뚱돼지 부인 and other words I can’t say but still hurt me. practicing in my room everyday to get good at 고무줄 놀이 the taut black rubber band connecting each piece of furniture in my room so I could show off to those girls who always made a point to leave me out of the game. drowning in chlorine water because the girls jumped on top of me for a “piggy back ride” without my consent. playing dodgeball with death threats from the faces that only knew to smile in front of authority. I am from there, still, Seoul, Korea giving up my shoes to the bare feet of a little girl who cries for the same reasons I do. putting my umbrella over the drenched girl with a holey uniform on our way to school so we’re both wet but smiling. learning sign language so the girl no one spoke to knew it is the others who were missing out on her, not the other way around. I am here, Oakland CA US growing inside and out. learning light and dark and the in between. education brought me here. pursuit of happiness made me stay. in my heart is where I live. Sing it from the rooftop, my love
Don’t you see? You are the most beautiful, radiant courageous you there ever was And will ever be. You are the only you there is. Is that not a cause to celebrate everyday, if not every single moment? Here, mirrors are not needed. Validations and affirmations are sweet but You don’t need proof that you’re the one With your eyes, with your heart, with your spirit. God willing, you will see who and what you are Your truth will soar through the heavens When you admit, accept, and affirm how enchanting of a creature you are. Say, you do shout at the top of your lungs That you are beautiful Who will dare say you’re wrong? Who will call the cops on your self-love? And if they do, is that really your problem? The insecurities that call forth such authority on the matter They are threatened by your righteous deserved love towards you Those who seek misery for company are no match for you. When doubt mists your eyes and blurs your vision I will remind you: You are the youest you there ever was and ever will be. You are and can be all the wonders of your grandest imagination Beautiful, radiant, courageous, all of the above. You pick.And I will be here to tell you, you’re so right. |
Paula JunnI write to make sense of my thoughts and feelings. ArchivesCategories |
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